Some New Pics

Our first white Christmas in a long time. So sweet and even snowing big flakes while we were doing stockings. :)

Abby and Ebenezer on Christmas Eve

Abs and her Grandpa Peep doing some drumming

Abby in her new duds and her favorite new horse "Matrix" an appaloosa stallion.

The Eve

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

Hope everyone's Christmas is full of magic and light.

Christmas :) & :(

How is everyone doing this close to Christmas? Are you excited or do you feel stressed?
Are you done shopping or have you not wrapped a thing.
What is your fav part of Christmas and what makes you cringe?

My answers:
I feel stressed as I still have a few places to go and stuff to get. How many more days do i have, yeah, not many.
I have not wrapped a thing.
My favorite part of Christmas- Christmas eve and the morning when everything is done and all you have to do is eat yummy food and enjoy watching people open their presents. I really like seeing my family, especially the ones we only get to see at Christmas time. Sunday was that, at my parent's house, white elephant presents, yummy soup, the kids being kids roudy and having fun, and playing pinochle.
The part that makes me cringe- the sheer amount of STUFF! I'm trying not to pass on my neurosis to Abs but i find myself talking a lot about kids who don't have many things and how important it is that we all get to be together.

OK, now it is everyone else's turn- my version of tagging Carla, Jess, Anna, Kristy, Tessa, & Jill. :)

Tagged

I was tagged by Carla to post a photo-

How crazy is this? My 4th photo in the 4th file is a sweet pic of Carla reading to Abby and Boone. So sweet.

So I got a lot done today but really did the afternoon have to be so crappy?
I was in a great mood being productive, laundry, work at mom/dad's, dishes, more laundry, snow tires, and even some charting, hay and grain stocked up for the horses.
Packing water I lean down to pick up the full buckets and hear a "plunk." sound. It didn't even register at first then i realized my pocket felt lighter. The pocket that i had put my camera in so I could take some pics as it was really pretty. Yep, right in the bucket of water. So I run to the house for the hairdryer, yelling at abby to close the barn doors and the gate behind me. I'm trying to dry off the camera that won't do anything like turn on or show any sign of life while Abs asks a million questions about cameras and water. 2 minutes into the drying affair the phone rings and i hear on the machine the words- pump pressure zero, no water, and plumbers. Yeah, so our rental house appears to have no water and has been that way all day but didn't inform us until 5pm after hours really expensive plumbing time. GREAT... Turned out to be a pretty expensive 10 minutes. P.S. we next learn that there is also no hot water going out to Kali's house, that too, is frozen. So the next hour fires are built, plumbers called, talk of heaters and continued cold weather, dinner made. So we're all low on patience and Abs at the dinner table is happy as a lark, happy being wild and this momma seriously feels like growling. I try to calmly explain, could she just chill out for 5 min., that all this stuff has just happened and we all have no patience. As life usually does, it gets better. The rest of the night goes ok. Calls from good buddies, kisses on the forehead, reading the polar express all cozy in bed, and finally a bath, lots of deep breathing and a new book, the Life of Pi by Yann Martel. Such a roller coaster sometimes.

Some Snow

It is so beautiful here when it snows. It has been seriously freezing here but super sunny- so pretty.


Anyone that knows this child, knows it is next to impossible to keep shoes on her for any length of time. But really, in the snow???

Getting the goats fed and all cozy for the night. Packing water to these animals - a big downside to all this cold weather.

Is it my turn?

Lack of Micro

So it has been a few weeks now with no microwave. It's not necessarily the plan not to replace the thing but i guess its been very low on the priority list. I'll be honest, we don't have a microwave in the house but there is one a few steps away in Kali's house which i have been known to run knocking on the door for a quick zap. So I'm rambling already but the point of this post is that I don't really miss it that much. Today was hectic at best, didn't start out to be a busy day but ended up that way, no complaints, i got a lot done but feel like right now is the first relaxed moment i've had. So the discussion went.

Me: I feel like drinking hot chocolate but do i really want it that bad? Heating milk up on the stove instead of just pushing buttons on the microwave.

Joe: Come on, it only takes a few minutes to heat up milk.

As I'm standing at the stove stirring the milk I felt my shoulders relax, my breathing slow down and I actually took a few deep breaths.

The microwave wouldn't have afforded me the same time or the attention I had to pay it so it didn't burn nor the forced relaxation. So now i'm typing with my steaming little cup of cocoa feeling calmer and appreciating the pace of the stove.

A Visit

Abby, Sarah, Mike and Esa outside in the yard checking things out.




I love the entrance to the aquarium, one huge underwater wall!





One of the kids' favorites was the river otter exhibit- the otters were going crazy swimming right by the kids.






One of Abby's loves. She has never met a carousel that she didn't absolutely love. I think she loves how fancy each horse is and that she gets to pick her own horse out to ride.

Thanks guys for coming, for the laughs, the friendship, and good talks. Love ya!

Treasures

Last night Abby let me french braid her hair without screaming.
She wanted to do it wet, sleep in it and then take it out in the morning so it'll be "all crazy" in her words.
Before going to bed (if she doesn't procrastinate getting ready) we read every night.
Last night she read to Joe, "The Little Red Caboose." As I sat in the other room I could hear her saying the words she knows confidently and sounding out the others, it almost made me want to cry. Joe and I keep saying, "she's almost 6."
Hard to believe- it's just so fast.

Gratitude

Tonight everything feels just right. After an amazing weekend of friends, family and lots of fun, tonight is calm. It is just us three, the phone doesn't ring, Joe and I eat dinner early, roasted sweet potatoes and salad as Abby takes a late nap on the couch. He reads out of the farmers almanac to me as we eat. I look around and see orange lilies and a giant vase of orange tulips on the couter, reminants of birthday cards and sweet presents (and some not so sweet- Elizabeth!). The wood stove making the house all cozy with candles lit. This is Sunday.

A surprise!

So last night I thought we were going out to a super yummy restaurant here for my fav dessert for my birthday. Headed up to mom and dad's to drop Abby off and my mom tells me she has something for me to see real quick before we go. She opened the door to the living room and seriously all these people and tons of kids yelling "surprise." I could not believe it. I have never had a surprise party in my life and I really was totally surprised, not one bit of suspicion. I can't believe that in all those people not one person accidently slipped. I definately found out how good everyone can lie, that is for sure. :) So we just hung out in the typical Smith fashion- lots of chaos, ate pizza, salads and some great desserts- one that I almost ate a bit prematurely at Anna's earlier picking up Abby- good thing there wasn't a big chunk out of it for the party! Thanks Anna and Tess for the party, you girls are seriously awesome. Thanks everyone for coming and making me feel so loved. I love you all like crazy and hope that your hearts all feel as big and full as mine. Its going to be a great year for sure. How can it not be?

A few more

You all know how we are about cups around here.
This is Abby's favorite right now.














I came into the kitchen running around getting stuff ready to go to work and school and here was Abs sitting at the table eating her morning cereal in her black stocking hat. Huh, I guess it was a bit cold in the house. :)

A pepsi machine in the driveway of the farm. Why Not?

Some Recents

The sky over Lake Sutherland. We haven't had a work overnight party since Victoria quite a few years ago so we all decided to rent a house for a night on the lake and go hang out.
Ummm, it was pretty fun....

The lake with a bit of fog left the next morning.

Net, Cindy and I going for a canoe ride. No we didn't tip it over at all. The lake was like glass and we watched a pair of eagles hunting.

Our coffee spot in the morning on the dock.

A view from the house. BEAUTIFUL!

Abs riding 'Melody' showing her riding skills in her horse show at school.

Abby super happy her Papa made it to the show to see her.

Moon Sky

Tonight outside feels like magic. Thanks Percy (our cat) for staring at me through the window willing me to remember to feed you. I stepped outside in the dark and was met by still, warm air and the yard all lit up by the almost full moon. Some clouds making it feel all pillow-y, everything peaceful and just right.

November 12th

It was 4 years ago today that I found out I had breast cancer. The actual event seems like so long ago but parts I remember like yesterday. I was in Victoria at a conference for work, waiting all day for a call with results. Finally, in the evening the doctor and I connected. I was in the hotel room surrounded by my co-workers listening on the phone to news my optimistic mind had not really prepared for, but could I have? Next, all I remember is that Pam and Lynette took over and somehow got me on a flight home to Seattle where Joe was waiting for me. I remember being so numb in the taxi ride to the airport with Pam and Net on either side of me talking, rubbing my back, with tears just silently pouring out. It was like I couldn't hear them but i knew they were talking. I just kept thinking about Abby and how much she needed me.
Now, 4 years later here I am loving, laughing, and so happy to just be. I thank my lucky stars for all of you that got me through and still do.

Last night Abs came running into the house, mama, can we go for a moon walk??
Sure, that sounds great. So we got flashlights and headlamps and went outside. It was dark but oddly warm. The lights lit up the fog, like we were walking through a cloud. Joe, Abs and I on a moon walk around the yard.
Then, this morning an EARLY run also needing headlamps and still oddly warm. We watched the sunrise slowly and the sky light up. And a book so good I am reading while making coffee, hmmmm. Yumm-o.

Happy Halloween!

The preferred method of transport for witches in Sequim!

Election Day

I listened to Obama's acceptance speech as I drove home. A few times listening I got goose bumps, and once teary. This is the first election since I had the ability to vote that I truly cared who was elected. That i didn't feel like I was just choosing the lessor of two mediocre choices. When I went in to look at Abs already asleep, I just felt like Obama will do his best to lead this country in the direction of hope for all, prosperity through hard work and determination instead of leading through fear. As Carla's blog says, "America, you made the right choice."
For those who didn't vote for him, maybe there is a different way to be, to lead, and to impower than has been shown in the past. Just maybe different, passionate, and unconventional is exactly what we need.

Lykke Li

You'll have to pause the music player for this one.

Thanks Rudy and Kellan!

God I love Port Townsend and a night away.
Thanks Kali and Court for making it possible, for the super fun sleepover.

Most of all, thanks Joe for you and for 8 years.

Black Stallion

Tonight a girls night of popcorn and movies, one of them the Black Stallion.

I REMEMBER this movie, the feel of it, not all the scenes or the ending but especially the part on the beach when there is no dialogue for 20 min. of the movie. Its the part when the boy is trying to befriend the stallion and eventually they are swimming and running on the beach together. As a horse crazy little girl I remember being amazed and in love with that horse.

I watched Abby see it tonight. She sat awhile then stole away a few minutes quickly running into her room to grab her little black horse and held it the rest of the movie.

So today was pretty productive for me, which growing up as a "Smith" feels good.

The horses have cleaner stalls and trimmed feet.

A cord of wood in the driveway.

The stack of charting slightly smaller.

Lunch and an awards ceremony in PA for work- an award for Public Health Heroes- New family services.

I got to spend an hour at Abs school with her after a hard morning of her not wanting to go. " But momma, can you just cancel all the things you have to do today and stay here with me?"

I got rolled and proceeded to fall out of a huge plastic culvert.

On my run I saw a herd of elk, probably 200 geese, a hawk, tons of birds, 15 deer, and Port Williams beach.

I also came home from running to find Abby still stacking wood with her Papa- super excited to show me all the kindling she stacked after an hour of work- Go Girl!

And ended up the day sitting on the floor cutting out Campbell soup labels for Abs school, as I am the coordinator for the year. :) The Campbell Soup Girl. Who Knew?

Did You Know?

That Hugging is.....

• Ecologically sound, does not upset the environment
• Is energy-efficient, saves heat
• Is portable
• Requires no special equipment
• Demands no special setting; anyplace from a doorstep to an executive conference room, from a church parlor to a football field, is a fine place for a hug!
• Makes happy days happier
• Makes impossible days possible
• Imparts feelings of belonging
• Fills up empty places in our lives
• Keeps on working to dispense benefits even after the hug's release

From The Hug Therapy Book by Kathleen Keating

Plus its easy to do, so why wouldn't ya? Thanks for all the hugs.

Happy 8th Baby!

A perfect anniversary night, yummy takeout at home by candlelight and a full moon. Doesn't get much better. I Love you Joe.

I don't think I've ever blogged about work before, not intentionally really, mostly because it doesn't move me much one way or the other. Today, both sides of the continuum occurred on the same day. Sometimes emotionally this job sucks if from you.
The Low: Whenever a baby doesn't make it, no matter how old they are, how much or little you interacted, it still feels devastating. I've had a knot in my stomach since Saturday, more debriefing the situation today, gaining more facts, not making it feel any better. HEAVY.
The High: 4 months ago a teenage mom with anorexia and a history of suicide decided to trust me and let me try to support her through the postpartum time. To watch her go from handing me pills she doesn't trust herself not to take to her shining, smiling face popping into my work today to say hi and show me her new "beater" car that is as dented as it is huge. Having her tell me that no one in her life has ever just sat with her and listened, her believing me when I told her she didn't have to be disrespected by her teenage boyfriend. That she didn't have to take it. It was like death and life visited today.

Early

Most of the time as a parent I feel authoritative I guess, that it is my job to direct Abby and most everyone knows my girl, she needs it. But, once in awhile there are those times when I feel like she is my pal. The house was all quiet, the early morning light was streaming through the sliding glass door. We sat on the hearth, our backs to the toasty fire, cereal bowls in our lap, eating breakfast together and talking.

Two of My Most Favorites

Doing

Maybe what I want to do and what I can do aren't really as close as I imagine.
Maybe trying to work at the hospital, for my parents, do some fun stuff with us as a family, seeing my buddies, trying to have a clean house, knit a scarf, read, run, the never ending charting.....
Maybe it is too much?
Today felt schizophrenic at best, too many plates in the air, splitting myself, doing lots but absolutely nothing well.
But what to stop doing? that is the question.
Ahhh, what I want and what it possible.
Maybe it will seem better in the morning.

Tuesday

I love how cold it is in the mornings now, that you have to wear long sleeves.
I love it that the leaves on the way down the hill on Washington Harbor are starting to fall- it is so beautiful to drive under.
I love it that I got to take a walk today, the sun and rain hitting me at the same time.
I love it that one of my dearest friends had great news this last week, that a spot in her breast meant nothing.
I love it that I haven't had labs drawn for 1 year and that Monday's results were normal.
I can feel the sun slipping away here at this house, THAT i do not love.
Its getting harder to find time to walk or run as the days are getting shorter- maybe time for a used treadmill in the garage?
Its crap that at the MD office I weighed 12 lbs more than last Feb. when I was there. Joe just laughed when I told him, said it didn't seem like it and that he thought maybe it was just muscle from running. I love you Joe.
I love it that the house is all quiet right now, some music playing and incense.
I feel really lucky.
Goodnight.

Ha Ha

Debate

Well.... what did you think?

A Cocoon

Today felt like I was insulated from the world and life.
My kiddo was sick, we stayed home and watched movies, just
layed with her and rubbed her hair as she slept, she is so sweet.
I lucked out and even had a message scheduled and was actually
able to go because Kali was here and able to help. During the message
she played a CD of the Dahli llama chanting, it was so beautiful. The CD is a chant
through healing. The message felt different today, like the whole universe was saying
just be today and receive all this love and healing energy. I got home totally relaxed, Abby was feeling a little better, we read books and talked. My parents had stopped by to check on Abs and friends came over to bring otter pops, eggs from their own chickens for chocolate zucchini bread, and presents just because. My dad ended coming by twice- we talked about the economy and some politics. Joe got home on time and we didn't have to go anywhere or do anything, it was sooo nice. I got to take a walk as the sun was setting. Today, a cocoon all warm and protected.

Yumm-o

A great fall soup, seriously yummy, especially if you have Nash's carrots!!

Ginger Carrot Soup

7 C. Vegetable or Chicken broth
3 Leeks
1 Yam
4 Stalks celery
4T butter
Fresh ginger root - peeled and grated
1 t. nutmeg
1 t. salt
1 t. pepper
1/2 pint cream

In a large stock pot bring stock to boil. Chop all veggies in small cubes.
Saute veggies with giner, nutmeg and 1/2 butter for 15 minutes. Add rest of butter.
Add veggies to stock simmer for 30 min. (I simmered for an hour) then add salt and pepper.
Let cool, puree in blender or food processor. Add cream when you serve.

Equinox

"The month of September also marks the 'Wine Moon,' the lunar cycle when grapes are harvested from the arbors, pressed and put away to become wine...The full moon closest to the Autumn Equinox is known as the 'Harvest Moon,' since farmers would also harvest their crops during the night with the light of the full moon to aid them."

Moppets are mopin' as schools reopen. Nights are crisp, and apples crisper; in the wind, there's just a whistper of what's coming. Rain drumming, warm but steady, mutters, "Get ready."

-Farmers Almanac 2008

About Today

- Joe got to take Abby to school today- the first time in a LONG time. She wanted him to stay all day with her.

- I got to sit and have coffee outside in the sunshine talking about our school, our kids, marriage, life, love and about being women.

- I got to be home in the daytime with Joe, alone in our house.

- Went shopping and had lunch just Joe and I on a monday, total treat and time out from the norm, talked about life going so fast and a mention of moving to the cook islands. Did you know you can't buy land on the cook islands, you can buy a lease that lasts for 60 yrs but only if you are native cook islander, have legal residency, or are buying or starting a business. hmmmm....

-Finished a book that made me cry.

-Took a nap in the middle of the day with the sun out (definately still feeling sick if i'm doing that) it felt really good.

-The house smells like ginger, nutmeg and warm carrot soup.

-A walk in the fall air tonight after dinner, just me and Blue.

-Abby asleep, some knitting and Good Earth Tea.

You all know how much I LOVE the word Lovely!

So this is what it is about for me. Makes me emotional, too. Maybe because you realize there are people like you all over the world when it doesn't feel like it most days. Or because we are so busy "doing" that there is hardly any time for "being." When mainstream feels so foreign to you and hope for a different world for our kids some days seems so hopeless. This gives me hope that people are awake and care.....

Headed to La Moore

We are so happy we could sneak one more visit in before you left. We are going to miss you guys like crazy. Hope the trek goes well. Have fun Luke riding in the front of that cool truck with your dad and Liam be easy on your momma. We love you!




Abs and Luke taking a break after a big run around the yard- Luke even had his plane wings out!

September at La Push

Not sure how its possible that Abs has a grumpy look on her face at this amazing beach- I think the end of a long day of play.



Our sweet La Push- a weekend of lots of laughs, good weather, some dancing, communal cooking and great friends.

For those of you thinking of trying "THIS"- umm, don't bother but if you can't stand the suspense and must experience it, we hear it is best warm. Really.

Actually, Mark I think you should try it...... :)