Thursday, August 23, 2007

Summertime





The new "bunk beds"- Abs likes them the most I think.









Abs first year of soccer is starting- wonder if she will be the aggressive one or if she'll cry if she gets bumped. Will let you know......








The cactus on the front porch!





First day of Ballet!







One of the flowers from the sunflower patch!












Typical PNW camping at Kinkaid, rained all night!





Whoa this picture set up is a little crazy, sorry everyone , I will figure this out eventually. Having a fun summer, Abs asking to go back to school every third day! Hope she still likes it when she is 12.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Sunrise


Because I have been unmotivated at night to finish my charting for

work I have been dragging my a.. out of bed when J get's up at 5:30am

to see him and also finish my charts for work that day. As miserable

as this may sound, it has actually proven to be a bit heavenly.

The phone doesn't ring, Abby is still asleep, the dogs are also still lazing about

not dropping a ball at my feet every 1.9 seconds (Jack) and the SUNRISES

have been unbelievable over Sequim Bay. The sunflower "room" is right in front of that

view of the bay and is about to bust out in solid flowers- amazing!

Monday, August 13, 2007

Being Well

It has been since 2004 that I have been taking something
to either treat my cancer and make it stay away, once it was
in remission. I remember that term before I was intimately acquainted with cancer and thought it sounded so good and hopeful. Then, when I was going through treatment and after, no one said it. I kept waiting to hear you are in remission- it is gone. Until one day I asked my oncologist and she said, "oh yes, the cancer is in remission." It seemed so casual and unimportant, not the hopeful, triumphant ending I was fighting for. So now is the waiting game, where you lead a "normal" life and try not to think about it coming back. Where you are wracking your brain for what caused it so you won't repeat it. Environmental, emotional, bad genes, no one can tell you for sure, just keep your positive attitude. Right.... Most days I'm too busy to worry which is good but the day I decided not to refill my tamoxifen I felt nervous. We've been talking about it for months but when it came down to not making the trip to Costco that day I suddenly felt panicky inside. I've decided to stop taking the tamoxifen for now. It has been a week and a half and I feel great.

Things I Am Doing to be Well
-laugh, a lot.
-running or walking as many days as possible
-seeing the Naturopath
-Breathing deeply
-Crying
-Eating as organic as possible
-growing veggies and flowers
-drinking tea
-sleep when my body says I need to
-Love deeply
-surround myself with people that love me

"Often we must learn that we can be "well" without being cured." -Vickie Girard

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Patience....


Yesterday was one of those days in my parenting life that I wish never to recall. How is it possible that one little 41/2 spitfire can make me feel so angry and frustrated I wonder. Shouldn't I be able to handle it, some people have 7 kids, what the hell do they do when just one of their children are talking in that demanding voice that 4 yr old girls have to follow them..... I'm leaving now.... mommy why are you so mean??? screaming- no fair.......
One of those days when you question your sanity of having children at all let alone thinking of having another one that will one day ask you why you are so mean. Of course when i decide I will not be taking her to the pool to yell and be crabby in front of others as was planned she then proceeds to morph back into my Abby girl. This Abby is totally helpful, fed dogs and horse while saying please and thank you. Where was she when i was lecturing her earlier about manners and treating people nicely? I was still too mad to take her to the pool even with major attitude adjustment so her papa did and he said she was an "angel." hughhh.
Raising Your Spirited Child-
We are able to process your call. We just don't feel like it.
-Ziggy

Monday, August 6, 2007

Invite

So..... I think I just sent an invite to have people check out our blog. I'm
just figuring this out so bare with me. If you don't care then
ignore the message and if you feel like checking in on us then
great! Seems a good way to stay a little closer together in this
fast world.
A quote
If we were to make a list of people we don't like... we would find a lot about those aspects of ourselves that we can't face. -Pema Chodron, Start Where You Are

Sunday, August 5, 2007

A Sunny Day

I thought I would try out this whole blog thing as I do love to read others but alas I'm already annoyed because it doesn't have the right font. OH well. Today was one of those days that makes you glad to be here. It was sunny enough for a tanktop but still a cool breeze. I got to weed in my yard, take a bike ride with Abs (half the time telling her to stop whining) ok, so NOT the bike ride I had invisioned, was able to hang out with Cassie, Kali, Joe, and Court and talk with no time constraints of having to be somewhere. A marvelously unscheduled day. I feel myself fighting the tide of overbooking myself and wondering why it is so hard to say no sometimes. I got to finish a great book, the final in the Harry Potter series and now am back to reading Birth by Tina Cassidy. Today I am grateful to just be.