Tuesday, September 8, 2015


What I really need to know is how this happens. How in 5 short years, does this little boy become this big boy.  How is it that he is now going to be in school all day, everyday and is telling me, "Mom, isn't it cool I get to have Language Arts at school, just like Abby does?"

Wesley, I feel so lucky to have had such a healthy, capable boy.  I am so proud of how strong and capable you are, how you know so well what it is you like and don't like. (ok.... sometimes this is annoying when i'm trying to convince you to wear something or do something that you don't want to do.) I'm sure it will serve you well in the future to be so adamant..... "Oh sorry Sheriff Andrew..... I really just couldn't follow that law, it really doesn't work for me." I digress..... I will miss our days off at home together, watching a show together, doing legos, some chores, and a bike ride to the barn or the "ducks." I adore you baby...your will....your determination.... your ability to do everything your sissy does and how much you love her. I am so proud of you and can't wait to watch you grow this year.  Have fun with teacher Christine!!

Saturday, March 28, 2015


my stab at random musings....

You know it's been awhile since you left, that even throwing up children in airports doesn't even quell your enthusiasm for traveling.
That the promise of hearing whales talk to each other under water makes you jump off a lava shelf.
When you are on the beach watching your daughter in the ocean and she gets too far away from your husband, you don't realize you aren't breathing until she gets back to him...
That you haven't arrived until you smell plumeria and eat spam musubi.
That you realize how much you move and how busy you are at home.... When the first day of vacation all you do is go in the water and then lay down and not move.
Watching the sun go down even in the rain is always a perfect idea.
Neighbor cats that visit the backyard keep your children entertained for hours.
You always read books that someone you love adores, even if it makes you cry and the sunscreen burns your eyes.
The second application of sunscreen is The most important.
Watching his face as he's about to jump in the ocean makes my heart feel all light.
Most of all.... When you stop moving and you start being, you realize with the utmost clarity that  beauty is everywhere you look.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

12 years

Tomorrow she is 12.
Hard to believe 12 years ago she came here to be with us, to teach us about her, about life, and about ourselves.
Hard to believe that SO MUCH can happen in 12 short years.... what of the next 12?
My affirmations to the universe..........
May she handle the next 12 with as much piss, vinegar and zest for life that she has the first 12.
May she never stop being as game for whatever comes her way.
May she continue to grow spiritually and realize the power she has within her to become and manifest what she wants her life to be like.
May she keep working hard at everything she does.
May she get through these next few years of finding herself and separating from us in a way that doesn't hurt herself or us too much.  (mostly her dear Papa...)
May we all continue to learn from each other and grow to get to where we are meant to arrive.


Vitamin D like they are candy......

Thursday, January 8, 2015

How to Raise a Girl

My Goodness How I love THIS.....

By Jennifer S. White. Elephant Journal.com

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/06/how-to-raise-a-girl/CarouselAddicted/Flickr http://www.flickr.com/photos/gagilas/8906406736/

I’m about to have two little ladies running around my house instead of just one. (I’m expecting a girl.)

And raising a girl is nothing short of a blessing.
But sugar and spice and everything nice? Nah.
I’ll take a sprinkle of naughty and a hint of “likes to roughhouse.”
I’ll throw in a pinch of burn-your-mouth spicy and maybe an occasionally sour too.
Because I’ve been thinking a lot about raising girls and about being one too.
I’ve been thinking about my own experiences, hardships and hard-won lessons, and what exactly being a woman means to me.

How to raise a girl:

Let her pick out pink, frilly dresses—and wear them outside to play.
Throw the baseball with her in the backyard so that she can break in her new baseball mitt.
Be comfortable with her nudity and with your own, so that she can grow to be comfortable in her skin.
Let her take off her teenage bra and not wear it for a year. Don’t freak out if she stops shaving her armpits. Let her disown her girlhood because she’s rebelling against—and mourning—leaving it behind.

Let her cover her breasts and wear baggy clothes—but make sure that she’s not covering more than her body from the world.

Let her eat, but teach her that self-indulgence is not self-care either.
Hold her when she’s fallen down and then help her learn how to get back up, for when you’re not there to grasp her hand.
Make sure she knows that she can date whatever gender she wants. Teach her that nice guys and girls do win, and teach her, preferably through example, to choose partners based on qualities that matter and not what’s between the legs, inside wallets or behind “mysterious” demeanors.

Teach her that she is whole alone.

Help her to be proud of her femininity when (and if) she discovers it, and teach her to appropriately equate this word with strength.
Encourage her to develop her voice. Reassure her that she can be loud and large when she wants to be.
Remember, if you’re also a woman, that she is not you and that just because she’s a girl, this doesn’t mean you will share experiences, perceptions or personalities.
Kiss her and hold her and hug her for no reason. Let her know that she owes no one any of these things.
Toss her giggling, toddler body into the air. Wrestle with her and don’t tell her to “be careful” when she shows signs of being a daredevil.

Show her how to cook, do laundry and clean—not because she’s a girl, but because it will help her be self-sufficient.

Make sure she understands that “being good” doesn’t mean putting herself last or being small. Rather, it means being authentic and kind (and to herself too).
Dry her tears with your love and willingness to witness her pain, but don’t tell her that her crying should be stopped or that it’s a weakness. Show her that it takes courage to wear an occasionally tattered heart on her sleeve.

Tell her she’s beautiful. Tell her she’s beautiful when she’s just woken up, when she’s sweaty and not only when she’s all dressed up. Tell her she’s beautiful when she’s laughing and sharing her ideas and baring her soul.

Allow her to wear bright red lipstick when she’s old enough, but help her develop self-confidence without it.
And, most importantly, raise her not as a girl, but as the individual who she already is—and love her for it.

Saturday, January 3, 2015


Nikki McClure's answer to what inspires you.....

Moss cities, and salt water's cold fire tingle, and help received, and life noticed, and self erasure, and recognizing a friend in a tiny wave, and risk, and hot scratched skin, and assistance by chance, and trying to save it all even though it is pointless, and existing with and for, and influencing your home by staying put and cementing down.

I like it.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Sometimes I get on here and I just stare at the screen.
I want to write but.......
I'm naturally inclined to write about what I adore, love, think beautiful, and generally feel hopeful about.
So when I don't feel the above then what.... maybe i just need to write anyway?
Maybe it will get me unstuck?
I'm bogged down with this Way- the doing, the spinning, the driving, and the talking. Even though it is what we have chosen.
I'm aching for quiet, for some peace, some gentleness in my head- all the time staring at sheer beauty and love around me.
Usually it all points to my tank being empty... that there isn't much else to give.
Or that I need more sleep.... so goodnight.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Slowing into Fall...

Tonight I walked alone down the road.
One of my very favorite things.
There were leaves on the road, the first bit of Fall.
The air smelled damp, felt a little bit cool.
I put on my vest- my security blanket to the world.
I listened to the geese and the thoughts in my head.
This bit of time, on my own, making me feel less frantic, more in touch
my head and my heart.
Self care, awareness, and intention on being good to not only those around me but myself.
Crazy that sometimes... this feels so hard.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Growing up

One of my Favorite Things....
Abby comes out of her room after finishing a book and she finds me, " Mom, you have to read this book, you will like it."
Over the next couple days she checks in with me to see where I'm at in the book and what we both liked about the characters.
I love the conversations that happen, what we both pick out about the people, some things surprise me, sometimes we like different characters better, sometimes she picks out things I missed.
A moment when I get to take a break from being the authority and her mom and we just get to be two girls reading the same book and getting to be just exactly who we are.

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Mama's Day at the Beach

Sunday afternoon at the beach, saw grey whales right away, close in.  Some campers that come every mama's day say they always come, do you think they know its Mother's Day?

Breakfast at Mom's that they guys all cook for the Mom's.  So lucky to be surrounded by this amazing family.

Joe going in post surgery, his smile so shiny.
Abby looks at me while we watch him go in and says, "Papa is really happy here huh Mom?" Yes Abs, yes he is.  :)

Spring Magic

To put seeds in the ground, some so small you can hardly see where they are in the dirt and soon....
with some sun and water, they grow into green plants, that my kids can go out and pick when they are playing, becomes dinner in the summer, veggies we take to parties and cook for friends.  Gives me reason to say thank you to Joe again and again as he monitors the watering, I may have the soil/planting gene but the watering one I do not. How many times do I look out my kitchen window and see the progress...pure love.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014


Welcome Home. I have missed your light, your optimism, and hope. Cycling round and round....close but falling off again. A cord bent by protection and love doing damage without intent. No more. Healing radiates in every direction. Pure light bathes them all. The corners of your mouth and the shine in your eyes. Welcome Back.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

How Big is Your Brave?

My Favorite kind of night.
Impromtu dance party in the living room, both my kids dancing their booties off.
My girl singing with as much gusto as she can muster, "I want to see you be brave. How Big is Your Brave?" Her mama I don't think could be smiling any bigger while she videos her lovely children whom she gets to share this time of her life with every day in and out, the good and bad.  I am looking at them with tears in my eyes and am so damn full that I feel like I'm going to burst.....
then mama has to stop videoing and go DANCE!!!

Tuesday, December 3, 2013


Tuesday, September 3, 2013

First Day at 5 Acre

This boy had his first day of school today. The morning started out rough, he was tired, cranky and didn't go until noon so wasn't sure how the 2.5 hrs short day would go.  Abby was so excited for him to have his first day, showed him where his cubby was to hang up his backpack and lunch box and showed him in.  He's been going his whole life to drop his sister off so finally he got to stay without me there. When we were about to leave, he just gave us a shy smile and waved and I asked if he could hug us and he gladly raced over and bear hugged us both and he was off. Didn't hesitate at all.  When I picked him up he was TIRED but looked at me and said, "can I please go 5 days a week.:) Sorry little man, soon enough...