Christmas 2007

Abby on her new bike, Christmas morning!

Abby, Joe and the dogs

Dad and Luke on our family Christmas Eve get together.

Abby snugging her uncle Anth, whom she just adores.

This Christmas was a great one. I hope that everyone was able to be with those they love and have a fun day of family and being together, oh and presents of course! It is so fun Christmas morning now having an almost 5 year old who thinks is all so magical and that the reason why she didn't get Ratatouille from Santa is that, "she told." and if you want something from Santa apparently you can't just go blurting it out. Abby says you just have to think and wish your hardest. When mom pointed out that Santa did get her a bike which she "told" her wish she muttered, "oh yeah, hmmm , it must be just for movies I guess."

Tree Hunting Expedition

This is our only picture of our tree this year. It turned out good for sure, a little less charlie brownish than last years!











Joe and I after Abby picked the tree at her Grandpa Peep's farm but for some reason was too crabby to be in the picture.

The only pic of Abby on the tree hunting day.

It was definately a I'm not having my picture taken day today. Geeezzz. what could be the problem with hunting for your Christmas tree?

The Nutcracker

Abby and Elena in the car on the way to the Nutcracker, soooo excited.

Abby and Elena waiting for the show to start! Elena came with us without her parents which is all very exciting for almost 5 year olds. She (Elena) whispered when the show had been going for about 5 minutes that " I love this!" with great expression.


We had a crew to see the Nutcracker this year in Port Angeles. Jenny, Mom, Courtney, Angelina, Abby, Elena, Joe, and myself. We thought seeing the slightly lesser version was good for this year, that the girls wouldn't know it wasn't the big Seattle production and maybe when they are a few years older we can fork over the money and do Seattle. I have to say that mostly I wanted to do this for the girls as they are very into ballet and LOVED the sugar plum fairy but it did put me in the Christmas mood. The music is lovely, dressing up and seeing a ballet that your kids are excited about was pretty fun.

Sweet Abby

Now most of you know that read this that Abby can sometimes NOT be so sweet. But here was tonight's conversation after I took a nap on the couch for 2 hrs.

Abby: But mommy I'm really worried about you.

Me: Oh, thanks Abby I will be o.k.

Abby: Do you think maybe you just need to poop?

Me: No, (chuckling) I don't think so sweetie.

Abby: Well what kind of tummy hurt do you have? like you are going to throw up mom? (her

face all worried.)

Me: No just hurting.

Abby: Well, are you on the edge of the bed.

Me: Yeah, but I'm not going to fall off

Abby: Mom, please scoot over, I have a lot of room, remember your tummy?

And that was it. Her little 4 1/2 year old sweetness sometimes just makes me smile.

A Good Book

Its never good when you are thinking about folding laundry at 1am or when you are posting to your blog for that matter. I'm not feeling great tonight and am kicking myself for not having a good book at least to distract me. Somewhere in this house is The Call of the Wild but for the life of me I can't find it. So i'm posting for a request. If anyone has read a great book lately, like the page turning, i can't put it down, the cheerios are in the cupboard- sure you can get it yourself Abby, kind of book. That would be great!

Friendship

You all are what makes this world o.k.
Thanks.

Christmas, etc.

So, I'm not one of those people that is totally into Christmas. I mean I love the idea, the parties, and Christmas itself on the day, and the day before.
We are that family that puts up the tree the week before Christmas and doesn't really decorate until that time, too. I've only just started shopping in the last two days and for some reason feel all this pressure about it. Good God people, why do we have to start shopping a month away, the day after Thanksgiving- which I've never done. People's reader boards in town have the countdown of shopping days. The consumerism/marketing of it all just makes me crazy a little. Makes me want to take all the money we'll spend and give it to Heifer Project International and just stay home. Now some of you reading this are probably shaking your head saying, geez Wendy don't take it so seriously. Maybe I shouldn't but for some reason it really makes me crazy and takes the fun out of it. Ok, not so negative.

The Good Things About Christmas
- I like unpacking the ornaments and getting a new one each year.
- I like singing Christmas songs
- I like finding a present that you know someone will love
- I like frosted Christmas sugar cookies
- I like Christmas Eve service
- I like having tea with honey and milk in it on Christmas morning
- I like Abby's sleepy eyes and messy hair when she gets up and sees the tree and all the presents.
- I like being with my family
- I like how the Christmas lights look in the dark

That's all for now. Happy Shopping everyone!

Abs and I tired after a full day of fun at Animal Kingdom.















All decorated for Christmas the Monday after Thanksgiving, weird if you ask me.






Abby at Splash Lagoon- went on it about 152 times!

Coming into Disney World- Abby was almost done asking are we there yet for the 25th time in 7 minutes.

This is Abby posing with Minnie mouse (one of her favorites) and apparently Roy Disney, Walt's brother. Random but cute.

Goodbye Sunshine

Because we live so close to a very large hill, the sun actually

goes away in the winter, stops hitting our house at all.

So goodbye sun, everything will hybernate until

you return, when I will jump for joy at first sight of the sun

hitting the porch in February.

Late Halloween

Abby as "Fairy Godmother" for Halloween.

She dressed herself right down to the pink shoes that are still too big but she loves them!

Our home grown pumpkins all "Carved Up".

Surfing at La Push

Joe paddling at early morning at the ocean- I think I need a bigger lens!!

A Nice Visit

The Pumpking patch Abby and Lils

Cutie girls in the back seat

After Lils visit Abby wanted to know when she could go to her house and did she need a plane to get to Tacoma? Thanks for coming over Jill and hopefully we'll see you soon!

Dad's and Daughters

Some recent Pics- La Push

We had a fantastic weekend at La Push with the family and seeing our Nephew Cody get married to a super cool girl. The wedding was perfect, small, and on top of a mountain! The ocean was sunny, hardly windy, and so lovely- sunset sat. night was gorgeous. We even got to see some bigger waves Sun. at Rialto Beach- couldn't get much better out there.

The Girls at La Push checking out the waves.




Abby and Angelina ready for the wedding!









07 Toppers Photography Soccer Team










Snider Lookout - Cody and Kaylene's wedding







Abs and her Papa




Abby's favorite part of the whole weekend- climbing on all the driftwood and pretending she was a panther!

Abs and I on a stormy day at Rialto Beach.

Watching

There is something about birth that speaks to the
very core of my being. Watching a woman's belly get bigger and bigger each time you see her, and watching that same woman get more beautiful with each passing month than you thought imaginable. Watching her prepare and seek out other woman to feel the support she needs for this transitional time. Watching her face light up each time she talks of the baby coming even though she is more exhausted than she thought she could be. Finally, getting that call that It has begun. I feel like my every nerve is on overdrive, as close as I could come to actually feeling electric. Until you get there and the hard work for that mother really begins and you feel helpless at the same time you feel amazed. You try and encourage and just be with her as she does this hard work that is birth. The laboring mother is in another place, as close as you could be to anyone who is on a different spiritual plane that you are. You wish you could transfer a few contractions to yourself and give her a break but you know this thought is futile, you just do what her eyes are telling you to do, which is different for every woman, every birth.
Then this life slips into the world and you cry because you just Feel so so much.

Thank you, Jenny for letting me be part of Liam' s birth, I am so honored.

The Day You Are Born

Welcome Liam James Smith. The world is a better place because you are here.

The Day You Are Born by Alice Walker (part of it)
......
Oh, little ones
Who will one day
Be
So much taller than us
Let us pledge
On your sweet heads
To make a better show
Of things
Than we have done.

Let us promise
To take courage
From the mysterious
Nature of your
Journey.
Let us acknowledge
In all humility
That regardless of
Your status in life
It is we
Who are blessed.

We do not know the beginning or the end
We only see the middle of things
Which is our own life.

Perhaps you are a part of
The force
That is coming to help
Us
Rearrange our wold
To make it better
We pray that this is
So.

That you have come back
To help heal the confusion
You left behind
So many lifetimes
Ago.

And that you come
Bringing all
We need
To get the job
Done:

Joy, Hope, Song.

Yummm

What is it about hanging out with women that you care about, drinking coffee and talking about your life, kids, and jobs that makes you feel so damn better about life and love? Is it because you aren't alone, because it normalizes what you feel and makes you calmer? Or does it just link us all together so we don't feel so isolated in this nuclear family culture. Whatever the reason, I am thankful for it.

No Cars

I'm trying to figure out why Abby and I had such a
good day last on Tues. and here is why.
We only got in the car one time- to get food to make dinner.
We didn't have any schedule, nothing we had to do
or GET DONE. We read books and more books.
We drew pictures and colored with crayons.
It was cloudy and rainy outside, we had a fire in the
woodstove, it was cozy, unscheduled, and NICE
to just be with her instead of trying to get all these
things done. Why do I get so focused on the tasks instead
of on the important stuff?

Horse House

To start out, sorry about the last post and then nothing forever. I am doing just fine, hate to admit it but turns out it was PMS last week. I used to think that it didn't affect me that way, that i didn't get bitchy and moody. Weellll, maybe 2 years of nothing addded up to a whole lot of something!! A few new pictures.....




Another outside pic of the yard and one of my fav Dahlia's.


The guys started working on the horse barn!! Sage is going to be so happy this winter


Carl, Jason, and Cody

Abs and Joe on TOP of the roof- she loved it-doesn't bode well for repeating tricks like her papa who tried jumping off roofs.


Looks pretty sweet, the horses will be all toasty in their new spot this winter.

Thunder

Today I feel pretty bad.
Maybe i'm getting sick, maybe I'm hormonal.
I am exhausted and moody and feel
constantly overwhelmed these days with
normal everyday things. For some reason
I feel isolated even though I have so many
people that care about me.
There was thunder and lighting today
and a downpour of rain.

Cheerleading OMG!

This is so classic I couldn't resist. So her first game of soccer....... maybe 4 years is a little early?? She hardly wanted to even go to the game let alone actually kick the ball.
In the a.m. before Opening Day of Soccer, she says, "momma, I don't really
want to play soccer." Now, this mom who played soccer for quite awhile as a
kid is cringing inside but trying to stay cool and go along with it. We talked about
reasons why she might or might not like it, she decides to at least go and try. (mind
you she is also a little sick with UResp. stuff.) Opening day full of lots of kids and parents,
all she wants to do is have us hold her 40 lb. little body.
Next, she really has fun playing at the playground of the elementary school waiting for her game to start. We have to practically physically place her on the field but she gets a little into once all the kids start running around. And that is the end of the story. She ran around, came out and sat on my lap as her other teammates were still playing, the coaches daughter had to take her hand and run with her so she would go out there a few times, and a few other plays, looked like she almost wanted to kick it but got spooked at the last second. When i told her to go ahead and just kick the ball any which way, forget the goal- happy to just make contact NOW, she states, "Mom i don't want to kick it, if i do everyone is going to yell my name, and i'm afraid of getting hurt. So she is a little shy of the spotlight and the attention which has historically been true for her and normal to not want to get hurt, but the last statement made a few hours later is what really GOT me. We're at nephews Wolfpup football game and she sees the little cheerleaders. "Mom, I want to be a cheerleader instead of play soccer." Now, lots of you know that i have always thought cheerleading a little less of a sport i should say and have been known in the past to have even done a little cheerleading bashing, so this was INTENSE. But I just took a big breath and said we'll just see how it goes. I loved sports as a kid and always said once i had kids that I would not try and make them if they didn't like to play or want to.........but please.. anything ...... but....... cheerleading..... :)

Labor Day Weekend!

This weekend was jammed packed, thus the following.
-honking car horns two blocks away to tell my brother Anth,
we were arriving!
-hugs and more hugs to Anth, back from the middle east
-Singing Lori Berkner in the car (Joe,Wendy,Abby, and Courtney)
-sewing patches on sweaters while Libs read to Abby
-homemade Chai with Weston, Hannah, and Libby
-On the road to the Gorge!
-Easton State Park, Joe and Bill jumping off the bridge into Lake Easton and kids
swimming.
-The perfect sky and view from the general admiss. at the Gorge Amphitheatre
-Dave Matthews Band and Abby singing 'Crash' on top of her papa's shoulders
-Moses Lake, "the person is new that took your reservation, she actually didn't assign you a
room, let me go look and see if this one is clean??.....
-Late night snack of Pringles in bed and the "Last Unicorn"- yes Abby was still awake
-Morning swimming and Denny's for lunch, wa-hoo for Joe his favorite travel lunch
- 8 hrs. in the car to get home from Moses lake. #@*$#@# aahhahh. saved by one 4.5 yr old who was amazing, just hung out for the whole time listening to music, watching a movie, and looking outside. Wheww..... we were lucky.
-Home at last from a whirlwind weekend full of sun, friends, music, and traffic, to two tail wagging dogs. :)

I Hope everyone had a fun weekend!

Summertime

The new "bunk beds"- Abs likes them the most I think.









Abs first year of soccer is starting- wonder if she will be the aggressive one or if she'll cry if she gets bumped. Will let you know......








The cactus on the front porch!

First day of Ballet!

One of the flowers from the sunflower patch!

Typical PNW camping at Kinkaid, rained all night!

Whoa this picture set up is a little crazy, sorry everyone , I will figure this out eventually. Having a fun summer, Abs asking to go back to school every third day! Hope she still likes it when she is 12.

Sunrise

Because I have been unmotivated at night to finish my charting for

work I have been dragging my a.. out of bed when J get's up at 5:30am

to see him and also finish my charts for work that day. As miserable

as this may sound, it has actually proven to be a bit heavenly.

The phone doesn't ring, Abby is still asleep, the dogs are also still lazing about

not dropping a ball at my feet every 1.9 seconds (Jack) and the SUNRISES

have been unbelievable over Sequim Bay. The sunflower "room" is right in front of that

view of the bay and is about to bust out in solid flowers- amazing!

Being Well

It has been since 2004 that I have been taking something
to either treat my cancer and make it stay away, once it was
in remission. I remember that term before I was intimately acquainted with cancer and thought it sounded so good and hopeful. Then, when I was going through treatment and after, no one said it. I kept waiting to hear you are in remission- it is gone. Until one day I asked my oncologist and she said, "oh yes, the cancer is in remission." It seemed so casual and unimportant, not the hopeful, triumphant ending I was fighting for. So now is the waiting game, where you lead a "normal" life and try not to think about it coming back. Where you are wracking your brain for what caused it so you won't repeat it. Environmental, emotional, bad genes, no one can tell you for sure, just keep your positive attitude. Right.... Most days I'm too busy to worry which is good but the day I decided not to refill my tamoxifen I felt nervous. We've been talking about it for months but when it came down to not making the trip to Costco that day I suddenly felt panicky inside. I've decided to stop taking the tamoxifen for now. It has been a week and a half and I feel great.

Things I Am Doing to be Well
-laugh, a lot.
-running or walking as many days as possible
-seeing the Naturopath
-Breathing deeply
-Crying
-Eating as organic as possible
-growing veggies and flowers
-drinking tea
-sleep when my body says I need to
-Love deeply
-surround myself with people that love me

"Often we must learn that we can be "well" without being cured." -Vickie Girard

Patience....

Yesterday was one of those days in my parenting life that I wish never to recall. How is it possible that one little 41/2 spitfire can make me feel so angry and frustrated I wonder. Shouldn't I be able to handle it, some people have 7 kids, what the hell do they do when just one of their children are talking in that demanding voice that 4 yr old girls have to follow them..... I'm leaving now.... mommy why are you so mean??? screaming- no fair.......
One of those days when you question your sanity of having children at all let alone thinking of having another one that will one day ask you why you are so mean. Of course when i decide I will not be taking her to the pool to yell and be crabby in front of others as was planned she then proceeds to morph back into my Abby girl. This Abby is totally helpful, fed dogs and horse while saying please and thank you. Where was she when i was lecturing her earlier about manners and treating people nicely? I was still too mad to take her to the pool even with major attitude adjustment so her papa did and he said she was an "angel." hughhh.

Raising Your Spirited Child-

We are able to process your call. We just don't feel like it.

-Ziggy

Invite

So..... I think I just sent an invite to have people check out our blog. I'm
just figuring this out so bare with me. If you don't care then
ignore the message and if you feel like checking in on us then
great! Seems a good way to stay a little closer together in this
fast world.

A quote

If we were to make a list of people we don't like... we would find a lot about those aspects of ourselves that we can't face. -Pema Chodron, Start Where You Are

A Sunny Day

I thought I would try out this whole blog thing as I do love to read others but alas I'm already annoyed because it doesn't have the right font. OH well. Today was one of those days that makes you glad to be here. It was sunny enough for a tanktop but still a cool breeze. I got to weed in my yard, take a bike ride with Abs (half the time telling her to stop whining) ok, so NOT the bike ride I had invisioned, was able to hang out with Cassie, Kali, Joe, and Court and talk with no time constraints of having to be somewhere. A marvelously unscheduled day. I feel myself fighting the tide of overbooking myself and wondering why it is so hard to say no sometimes. I got to finish a great book, the final in the Harry Potter series and now am back to reading Birth by Tina Cassidy. Today I am grateful to just be.