Bad to Good

Wow, today was one of those days when at some point you seriously consider crawling back into your bed and starting over. I started out grumpy and tried to get myself out of it by having coffee on the porch in the sunshine and even read the paper. It sort of worked, although I still felt a little sad. That was the end of the good for awhile. My car has been a thorn in our side for the last little while and today proved no different. The dealership that was doing the work informed me that the repair work would actually be 250$ more than the inital quote after taking three weeks to get the parts we needed. Needless to say I was a bit frustrated on the phone, twice Abs trying to talk to me and tell me essential info like, " Momma, I have to go pee!" The second interruption I actually put my arm out and pushed her back from me a little and told her I couldn't talk to her in a totally grouchy mom voice. Really, I am trying to hold it together and not either yell or cry on the phone to the car repair receptionist. So we get the car deal done and after the call I can actually cry now because damn it, I just need to today. Abby comes in, notices that I've been crying and quietly asks the following....

Abs: Momma, why did you push me back earlier?

Me: OMG(guilt), 'Abby I was frustrated that you were trying to talk to me while I was on the phone, and I was frustrated with the person on the phone, too.

Abs: Well, what is a different way you could have told me that instead of pushing?- really she did say this. My mouth drops but am smiling at the same time.

Me: Not good when they start using your own lines on you. ' Well, I could have said Abby, I can't talk to you right now, I can when I'm off the phone. I apologize, it wasn't the right thing to do.'

Abs: Its ok momma, I love you.

So that is all over and I go to start a fire because now it is pouring down rain. I strike the match on the side of the strike anywhere matches(apparently this means anywhere but the actual box) that is mounted to the wall above the woodstove. The match proceeds to break off while lit and fall down into the whole box of matches. Holy shit, flames and I just take the deepest breath I could and blow it out while smoke billows out of it. When I can see the box through the smoke, half the box is burnt the other not ignited at all. Disaster averted, house still standing. Alright, so this is when I'm thinking of going back to bed.
Hmmm. maybe we'll make popcorn, have hot chocolate and watch a movie.
Wendy proceeds to forget about the popcorn in the microwave and happen to look up as smoke is now billowing out of the f'ing microwave. Seriously, WTF. Now Abby is in the other room whimpering that she doesn't like this day at all, that it is a total fire day and she is not happy with it. The house now smells of a mixture of sulfer from the matches and burnt popcorn- really bad in other words. All the windows get opened and we are now even colder. We do make popcorn again, i don't leave the microwave at all this time, make hot cocoa and we watch whale rider and cry some more because it is a great movie. By now Joe is home and things are getting much better. We bail on ballet for tonight because abby is too tired and I'm thankful not to have to do anything else. We finish the movie, have dinner of homemade chicken noodle soup and I get to go run. I didn't start until 6:45 so I ran the whole way in that nice evening light when all the colors are vibrant, fields just mowed, and the bluest water ever. The end of the run I am feeling relaxed and great. I come home to Abs and Joe doing art and then we watch a. idol.
ahahah, a nice end to an intense day.

Night Time Tea

Tonight I feel like my body is trying to get sick. I drank this a lot during chemo, seemed to help. So.... am off to bed to drink this tea and hopefully sleep long.

Night Time Tea

Gotu Kola- Detoxify

Peppermint- Increases digestion, good for lungs and sinuses

Licorice- Blood purifier, boosts adrenal, kidney, and muscle tone

Ginger- Increases metabolism/ immune system

Boil water, shut off heat, add handful of tea per cup- cover with lid. Steep for 10 min. & strain.

Add honey or just plain- whatever suits your fancy :)

Aquariums & Zoos

Having to be in Seattle yesterday for an appointment, Joe, Abs, and I made it to the aquarium. Now I realize that there are conflicting views in the "green" world about zoos and aquariums, whether animals should be in captivity and on display. All I can speak from is my experience and being a mom, and that- is kids love it. I mean I like the aquarium but Joe and Abby LOVE it. Last time they saw the aquarium they came by themselves so I also heard stories that I didn't know about from their last trip. Joe grew up in S. Calif. and Hawaii where he got to swim and explore the ocean and see all these tropical fish up close. Going to the aquarium with Abs is the closest she can come living in the PNW to experiencing those animals and that wildlife. If your child never saw those fish, or elephants, lions, or giraffes then how would they have that real connection to those animals and their habitat in order to protect it in the future? You can read about them yes, but actually being up close to them, smelling them and seeing their eyes, I feel like you establish a deeper respect for them. So, earth week tip for the day : Go to the Zoo & Aquarium - fun!

Earth Day Late

Well I tried to do a daily post, geez I can't even hack it for a week... and didn't even do it on the actual Earth Day, ah the best intentions, right?


Abs and I had a great Earth day. Started out a normal day with errands and lunchtime with Grandma Jan & Grandpa Gary.
We then headed to our beloved Kinkaid Island to be in the woods at the river. We checked out all our favorite spots and sat in the sun a little and listened to the water. It was lovely for both of us, similar to being at the ocean, my body feels so relaxed and calm there. Abs was running around like crazy racing through the woods laughing. Her favorite part of nature- Exploring she said. :)

Then we stopped by a local nursery and she picked out flowers to plant in her little playhouse and came home and planted them sans any help from me which she thought was VERY cool.

Finally, she wanted to make paper chains- instead of my idea of a paper mache Earth, come on man wouldn't that have been cool? She said it was going to take too long!! So chains we did. She drew pictures of all the things that she didn't want to go away, that we should try and protect. On her chain was a butterfly, a mouse, a cat, a horse, the sun, people, and the last was a $ sign, hmmm not sure about that one. :) On mine are the following words: soil, flowers, fish, trees, water, birds, fruit, and vegetables.

There you go. Earth day 2008. A parting quote from my dad when I told him it was Earth Day. He said, " Wendy, everyday is Earth day for farmers." my sweet daddi-o.

Abby and Joe picking rocks out of the field

These pics taken on the same day in our yard. Good old Northwest weather here!

The Bag Man

Tip for the day: The dreaded plastic bags. (this one is for me- why can't i just remember to bring the damn canvas bags into the store?) I recycle mine but wouldn't it be more efficient to not even have them? Do you think they will be phased out? Do you ever think how wild it is that we can send people safely to another planet but can't seem to develop the infrastructure here on ours to adequately care for where we live? At Pike Place a guy walks around covered in plastic bags- you can't even see his face or any of his body. At first when i saw him I felt myself actually step back, away from him. Pretty effective.

Earth Week

This week on the blog my hope is to post something tangible everyday that we all can do for our planet to make a difference in the spirit, health, and well being of our world.

This cool picture is a piece done in the sand in San Diego by our artistic Kali, Asha, neice and nephew and quite a few others.

Tip for today: Reduce , Reuse, Recycle in as many ways as we can!!

Thursday

It is with candle light and Jeff Buckley that I start to post tonight. Every part of today was nice and tonight I feel so relaxed and complete. When I picked up Abs from school today it was sunny but still a little cool. She didn't want to go to school today because we didn't have time to go throught the "big clothes" a bag of hand me downs that don't fit yet. So, today we got home and straight away dove into a fashion show of pants, shirts and shorts with the music going. I just sat with her and watched instead of trying to do three things at once while also watching. We laughed, sang, and sorted clothes those that fit and don't. Our daughter is getting big you guys. At times I look at her and she is a girl, not a little girl any more. Then we went through photo albums of my pregnancy, her birth, and pictures of her when she was little. There is so much of me that loves this time of my life feeling like I have freedom to do things for myself and others, not having a little baby that takes every ounce of your energy. But today so much of me wanted to feel the weight of a sleeping baby on my chest, a baby that only wants the smell and feel of me. That time is so short and sweet. I think Abby would be such a good big sister, she is always asking lately when we are going to have a brother or a sister, she would prefer a boy she says, hmmmm.

Favs for today. * A clean house * The porch * Protection island in the sun * Us three in my kitchen * The best squash pie EVER * Burts Bees * Skirt over jeans * photos * treadmill and Brandi Carlile * Abby and Joe's happy faces at the swimming pool and the feel of water all around me * Caffeine free Christmas Eve tea, yummmm. Goodnight, and dream sweet.

What a Weekend!

Abby super excited to go for an overnight at her Uncle Anth & Aunt Jenny's. She was such a big girl, first overnight at their house and she was totally fine!

Finally we got to Han in Tic Tac!

Loving Seattle, impromptu drumming and dancing at the pier in 80 degree weather, eating brie and crackers.

Such a feast for the eyes, the lovely Pike Place Market

Waiting for the Southworth ferry heading home.

Seattle, Sun & Drumming

Welcome Sari!

Making special cookies for Cody and Kaylene to welcome new baby cousin, Sari Ann!!

On a card I got from a good buddy of mine: A quote from Maya Angelou. "Only equals can be friends." Abs wanted me to read the whole card inside and out then came the questions....

A: Momma, what does equals mean?

me: hmm, trying to make the definition in this context make sense to a 5 year old. I fumble around searching for the right word, not finding it.

A: Does it mean like the same?

me: Yeah, it does Ab.

A: So you can only be friends if you are the same?

me: Well, no, not in the physical way like how you look or your age, but maybe in how you see things, like this world and the people in it.

A: Oh, I see.

I wonder what the questions will be like when she is 10? This parenthood deal is such a ride!

People

When I used to wait at the oncologist's office I always read the magazine 'The Cure' scouring for information about young women with breast cancer. Today, I found myself reading PEOPLE. Ha, f... you cancer.

Today

All the lovely things about today.

- The sun streaming through the window this morning and Nag Champa
- A wake up call to run after getting in at 2am (that i turned down- I'm not that addicted i guess)
- New striped knee highs
- Being told what part of my eyes get puffy on low sleep and a NFS party
- Girls giggling, chasing each other and shining
- Little boy's feet kicking like crazy in the backpack at the sight of any farm animal
- A walk, the smell of trees, a path wide enough for one
- Laughing and laughing
- Hearing my voice in a microphone and watching them really 'see' each other as they sing
- Drinking tea with honey and milk, wood heat, new books in the mail, and the last two bites of cherry pie

Chocolate Ears

When you eat a chocolate bunny from Easter,
What do you eat first?
Do you nibble a foot? A paw? The butt? The nose?
Do you always wonder if this time it will be solid instead of
that hollow middle that you can put your finger in.
Let's not eat the whole thing ok, Abby, both
of us biting chunks off and laughing at the remaining
shape. I love chocolate.
Ears for me, definately the ears.

Lights Out!

March 29 was Earth Hour. The task- to turn out all your lights for one hour from 8pm to 9pm to make a statement about climate change. There is something so magical about candlelight, helping the climate and our spirit at the same time. So nice......

So Sweet

After a long politically dramatic day at work, Abs and I are on the couch watching American Idol, our bodies all pressed together and snuggling.

Me: What was your favorite part of your day today?

She looks up at me and smiles.
A: When you came home momma.

And anything that was bothering me before isn't now, how fortunate I am to be this child's momma.

Baseball Begins

I know this pic is a bit strange but stick with me.
One of my earliest and fondest memories
of Joe when we were just "friends" is him in the little
grey house after work, the sun shining and the smell of fresh cut grass. He is sitting in an old beat up recliner chair, reading a book, smoking a cigarette and listening to baseball on the radio. When he sees my face he smiles like I have just made his whole day and in turn he has made mine.