Leaving...

Liam- won't quite do a real smile at this stage - 3 yrs old :)

Luke- a week away from being 5 yrs old. :)

My brother, Jenny and the boys left today to start their Portugal adventure. They were able to be here for a few weeks- time to just be, have dinners, play games and more games, hug, laugh and wrestle with those boys. Abby got some great cousin time in, even had Luke for his first spend the night at our house, right before he turns 5. It was really hard to say goodbye I love them so much. Passport applications were mailed today though, in hopes that we get on that plane and fly ourselves to Portugal to see them in the next few years. I can't wait to hear about their adventures of finding a house, learning the culture, about the markets, and the boys' Portugese school. I can't wait to hear about the bars, the food, and the wine that everyone says is fantastic, the beach, and mostly the people- what they are like and how lovely they are. I can't wait to see you there.

Christmas Day 2010
Christmas Pajamas!! Finally he is awake so we can open stockings!!
Sleepy Wes and I on Christmas Day

The Snow

Thinking to myself and wondering just how many more years i have to be taller than Abs- not many.

Wessy trying not to fall on the slippery snow- his tongue must help!

Joe and Wes looking all good. :)

Love This....

November Snow!

The sledding crew- Cousin heaven!
Jake, Abby, Angelina, Luke and Liam.

Wessy all suited up to go out. Had his first sled down the bunny hill. Once down with Jake and once with his momma!

Happy Happy

A full moon and snow today. Funny how birthdays go.... another day, sweet phone calls

and messages, a dinner with my family. Friends coming over

for hugs.... how it used to be about gifts when you were young

but as you get older you see the true gifts are just the people themselves with their

arms around you tight, their smiles reflecting yours.

Today

Today the sun was sought, cookies were made, long naps had by the littlest.

A few jobs are more complete, the floor is semi-clean, and baths were taken.

I smiled more and I just didn't feel as heavy.

The fire crackling, the fish tank bubbling, Joe reading to Abby, and the moon comes out again...goodnight.

These Days

It feels quiet in the blog world for me. Hard to write when things feel unsettled.
I feel like some days its all i can do to get through... laundry, tired kids, tired parents, feeding people.
Maybe its the light going away here, or the weather getting colder, hormones getting crazier.
In the middle of me I go from unsettled to full anxiety it seems.
I'm trying to work on myself... ways that i can find reprieve from my chattering brain.
I'm trying to eat a little better and sleep a little more.
I'm trying...

Our genie/belly dancing girl on Halloween







Wessy jumping out of the rocking chair

"Abs, will you go pick some beets?"

"Sure mom."

Yeah... Papa is home!

Wessy

This morning Joe brought Wes into bed as he was leaving for work.
Wessy says, (high pitched) "hiiieeee Mama."
sweet.

beautiful

A bit sad for Saturday morning but its so beautiful.

Orcas Island

A trip to Orcas Island for out 10th anniversary.

So lovely.

10 years...

Our sweet little cabin near Deer Harbor

The view from the cabin out to the water.

Looking West

Goodbye Orcas... hopefully we will see you again soon.

How do you write about 10 years together, a whole lifetime since we walked down the grass aisle in the field. Strange how it seems like so long ago and yesterday at the same time.

A few days of just us.... so nice.

ER and Fairies

He is fine, after a trip to the ER with a really high fever and what i learned are myclonic seizures. Apparently they can be totally normal when you have a high fever like your nervous system is irritable. It was a bit scary for momma with his fever so high and this jerking, calls to the doc on call at midnight and of course it would be on a night Joe was working nights. He was super brave having to get a urine specimen and blood work, the ER doc said he just had a virus, that we were to just treat the symptoms. After a second night of little sleep and being covered in vomit this morning he is finally looking better, playing, smiling with no fever left. This is the first time he's really been sick, ughgh i hate it. Hoping we all sleep like rocks tonight.

Tonight in the bathroom while Wessy was taking a tub.

Abby: Momma did you know that there is a Wessy fairy?

Me: What do you mean?

Abby: I mean there is a fairy inside of Wessy, its his soul.

Me: Like there is a fairy with wings and everything inside him?

Abby: Yes, exactly.

Me: Wow, i really like that, that means maybe when each of us die our soul fairy gets to keep living and playing.

Abby: Yeah, that is what i think anyway.

There are times as a parent that you are able to separate yourself from this "job" as being responsible for their safety, morals, and general upbringing and are able to just see them for their own people and how magical they truly are.

Soul Fairies, I think its brilliant.

Awhile

Us girls heading down the road to the corn field to pick some fresh corn for dinner. Yes the girls purposely got lost and then wanted found quickly. One of those perfect sunny fall weekend days. hmmmm.












Abs at La Push- a day trip to see some stormy waves. I love that we have been coming here since she was tiny, that this place will be part of her.


Little Wes looking at the water








Abs and Joe at Rialto Beach.

Starting to feel like Fall

One of my favorite sunflowers growing in the garden right now.














One of the pumpkins starting to get orange!!

Soccer has started. She has the same coach she has had for the last 3 years and she is thrilled. Another cool thing- they have numbers this year and she got my old number "7."

Little Wes standing up when he is supposed to be eating- knowing he is being a stinker and apparently loving it. Great.....

1st Day

Happy 1st day of 2nd grade!! back to 5 acre opening ceremonies complete with singing, circle dancing, introducing all the kids AND bagpipes.... sweet..sweet...sweet and one girl with this grin on her face the whole time.

As I watched her, I understood why a mother would starve herself to feed a baby; how there was always time and room for a child to curl close to her side; how she could be soft enough to serve as a pillow and strong enough to move heaven and earth.
- Jodi Picoult from the Plain Truth

Thanks Hannie for the book, i loved it. I also had a hard time putting it down. Was reading with one hand and making coffee with the other, walking around the house putting laundry away and reading. :) hehe.

The Rain

A quiet day at home today, all of us home. I got to go running for the first time in a couple months probably, it was hard. Always baffles me that i can run 13 miles and don't run for a month or so and 3 miles feels hard. ughgh, back at the start again. I came and got Wes to walk the last mile, him in the stroller. It was barely sprinkling when we started out, the air warm. On our way back it really started pouring rain. I love it when it rains hard like that, tipped my head back, smiling and stuck my tongue out to catch the water. I put the cover over his stroller so he wouldn't get soaked but he kept pushing it back. He wanted to be in the rain, too. His body was all still and at the end he just looked up at me and smiled the biggest smile, with his hair soaking wet and barefeet sticking out. Times when you see something of yourself in them so clearly, makes your chest so tight for all the love you feel.

La Push 2010

As a kid I remember these vacations with other families, tons of kids playing all day. We had our first mini- vacation like that out at La Push for 4 days. The weather was perfect, everyone in the water, wet-suits and boogie boarding, sharing meals, campfires, kids playing all day, and tons of laughing and just "being." horray!





The pictures never do this justice












Sunset under the Yates' awning.


Us girls and two of the "littles"





Joe and Wes hanging out up on the rocks. If Wes was on the sand he seemed to just make a b-line for the water. hmmmm... his papa's son? :)




Wes thought the long board was pretty cool.

The big kids the first night we got there. They couldn't stand it, eventually they all got wet even though it was basically night.

Eating dinner at the campsite. 6 adults, 9 kids and 3 motorhomes. Sooo much fun.

Whaaat we have to go home...? well as long as I can drive!

Wessy at La Push











Brrrrrr.... putting on cold- still wet, wet suits in the morning to go surfing.

Abs in her driftwood

Morning at La push

Alex, Jerry, Joe and Abs on the beach

Evening

Here at the computer, the evening hits. My face lit up by the sun through the window.
One baby asleep, the other occupied, the house is so quiet.
2 days at the river in a row, Wes flinging his body back to rest his head in my hand when i ask him, did you see the trees? aaahhhh, Kinkaid.
Out the window right now the water bright blue and all still.
Time for a night walk, how could you not go?

And You are 1

How can it be that it has been a whole year?

How can it be that it seems you have always been here and also that it was yesterday that you were born?

How can it be that in one year you went from sleeping most of your days to eating, yelling, and exploring most of your days?

You have shifted the dynamic of our family for the better, more balanced.

Your sister loves you to no end but is starting to feel you asserting your will- she is strong and so are you, i'm sure some battles are ahead of us.

A bit about you at 1.

- You love, love, love being outside. You sit by the sliding glass door, you cry if anyone goes out and doesn't take you with them. Outside you love riding Jobe's 4 wheeler, the tricycle, using any tools you see around, digging in the dirt in general exploring.

- You are LOUD, just like your sister. I don't know how it is that we have such loud children but i suspect you are just trying to compete with your sister to be heard.

- You like to eat most anything but you don't like your highchair.

- You love your sister's room and everything in it.

- You love to go wake your sister up in the morning as you are usually awake first.

- You are the only way i could get your sister awake without a fight for school during the year, as if it was you waking her she would wake up happy.

-You are walking and sometimes trying to run.

- You are a treasure, a gift to all of us, and we love you like crazy.

Happy Birthday Wes!

Raspberry jam made by 9am, a hard morning with a 7 year old that has the attitude of a 14 year old at times, not liking to say no to fun things, feeling like i have to have my thumb on her all day- hashing it out. Lunch out on a sand pile, both kids "helping" their grandma Kali on the sand- Abs all proud that she got to help on the real pile not her makeshift one on the side. Some management and errands but also some sweet quiet time in the middle of the day and a really good book. A girl right now laughing that belly laugh that i love so much while her brother is trying to fall down on purpose and laughing, crawling all fast like he does when he is having fun. The sun is out and the day is only half over, a big breath comes out of me.

Little Forever

We are in the hammock in the evening a few days ago- talking about Wes's birthday coming up.

Abby: Momma, wouldn't it be cool if we could do some sort of magic and make it so Wes never got any bigger than he is right now. Mom, he is so cute. I'm going to miss his little sounds he makes when he starts saying real words. Maybe i could have that magic too and just get to be a kid forever, maybe i would wait until i was 10 to do it because i think its going to be really cool when i'm 10.

Last night as we were heading to bed she wanted me to pick her up and carry her to brush her teeth.

Momma: Abby i'm too tired, you're too big.

Abs: Don't say that momma. I never want to get any bigger. I mean i want to have birthdays, of course..., but i don't want to get any taller and i want my voice to be the same.

My sweet girl, you are a gem.

Some Pics

The super cheesy grin I've been trying to catch on film. Ha- I got it.

The kids at salt creek in the raft.

The boys' early morning swim on Joe's birthday.

Joe and Wes doing some work. :) Wes loves the tractor- he is all still and in his observation mode.

Alex and Jerry when they got here for the summer!!