Lucky

It was close to this time with Abby that I had to go back to work. I remember not believing the time had gone so fast, thinking about other countries and how much paid time off they got to be with their kids, wondering what we were doing to our kids by leaving so early. I was lucky however, that i wasn't returning full time but three days a week and double lucky that Abby would be with my mom, not in daycare. Still i remember thinking how absurd it was that I was working helping other moms and their babies while I was away from mine. This time around I work for the hospital as a per diem employee so I don't have to return in the required 6-8 weeks as I did before. Everyday I feel like something is different with Wes, it is subtle but there is THAT much change. I feel so lucky to be able to stay home with him, that Joe has a good job and works so hard for us to make that possible. I feel lucky that i have the freedom to take Abs to school or pick her up if she wants me to, to go to Sunny Farms in the morning when no one is there instead of the jam packed afternoon. I feel lucky that, like today, I can just hold him because he wouldn't stay asleep in his bed- only on me. Some days feel pretty crazy and hard but I feel so lucky to be their mom.