Journey

Poems about loss, writing that is in us and must come out.
Doesn't matter if people understand or appreciate it, a drive to articulate.
This life is a journey sometimes beautiful sometimes painfully dark- choosing to spend as much time in the light but not shy from the dark that quietly waits for you to cease doing ... to stop and pay attention.
Healing so complex and circuitous without a distinct end point but many points along the way ...the journey.

The Cascade

The thing about starting to run, is that it makes me sore.
The thing about being sore is that it makes me stretch.
The thing about stretching is that it makes me breathe.
And breathing simply makes me feel better. :)

Ahhh... one of my favorite things. Saturday mornings and a steaming cup of tea.

2010

A few things I will remember about being at La Push for New Years.
Getting out there in the dark, Wes' s first sight of La push New Years Eve all bundled up on a night walk on he beach with flashligts
The full moon coming in and out of sight as the clouds flew by making the beach both light and dark.
Giant trees tumbling around in the 20 ft. waves and seeing seafoam fly past the camper.
A fireworks show in true reservation style- Joe and I outside the camper watching, the kids asleep.
The nights of no sleep, Wes crying, Abby with a fever.
The sun coming out the third day and feeling my body's response- hear deep breath and see this girl smile.
Abby making up this song.
This is the way Wesy sleeps, wa-aa, wa-aa, wa-aa.
This is the way Abby sleeps, snore sound snore sound
This is the way that mama sleeps, "oh my gosh wes, oh my gosh wes"
This is the way that papa sleeps, " come on wes, come on wes."
And when asked about her new years goal for 2010 Abby's response
"To get myself back in Five Acre." (The school she used to go to the last few years)

This is life, the good and the bad all wrapped up in a crumpled yet beautiful package.

A few more- New Years Day 2010

Welcome 2010

Stormy La Push on New Years Day
















Abby knee deep in sea foam. It was so stormy and the tide so high there was actually foam blowing past the camper in the air.











Lil Wes all bundled up- he didn't mind cold la push at all- except at night when he thought it best to cry each time he woke up for awhile so no one but Abby could sleep. Walking a baby in a camper isn't actually that easy 5 steps, turn around, 5 steps turn around..... please Wes go to sleeeep!









Saturday the sun and blue sky come. We are exhausted from two nights of crying Wes and thought we would leave for home this day until the sun came and we just couldn't go...






Abs and I walking on the beach.

New Pics

So this boy LOVES the jump up. He will literally come out of the seat a little when he is jumping he is so enthusiastic about it. He especially loves it when everyone is looking right at him- a Leo for sure.







Abs and Wes on our Christmas tree cutting







I love this pic- wonder what he is thinking - "really, those are mine? look how they move. the next pic taken which isn't on here is him trying to eat those toes. :)










Hard to believe it is time for him to be sitting up by himself- he is still pretty tippy but likes it.


Tres Bebes - Wes, James Van and Mathilda Roo.


How sweet are they?

Abs and Wes in their Norwegian sweaters from their Grandpa Peep.





















Abs and Wes Christmas morning in their new pajamas!





























Christmas morning breaking ice on the horse water in jammies.















The morning opening




















Not a white Christmas but close- pretty frosty.

Getting closer to being ready.....
Tonight the Grinch and how Christmas still came dispite the lack of stuff, nice reminder to chill out!!
What exactly to put in a almost 5 month old's stocking hmmmm.......

Winter Solstice

To celebrate the return of the Sun.

To acknowledge the best and worst of the past year

and give voice to our hopes for the next.

Happy winter solstice and "Here Comes the Sun...."

At the breakfast table

Abby mutters sort of under her breath....." Someone has to know if Santa is real, I just have to know..."
This momma takes a deep breath and states, "Ok Abby, are you ready?"
Abs: Yep.
me: I talk about how it started that yes he WAS a real guy, how he did it and that there was definately magic involved but that that person died. Talked about traditions and how things evolved (simple version for sure) and about the spirit of christmas how fun it is to give gifts to people that we love.
Abs: Ok mama. That sounds ok to me.
Then she smiles and says "I definately know elves are real I just wasn't sure about Santa."
Such a sweetie girl.

Orlando-ness

One happy going to Disney World girl!
















Anth and Liam doing piggy backs

The speedway at disney

On the train to Toontown

Abs and Joe going off the little water slide together

Wes's first swim with his Papa

Sutherland, birthday, Leaving and Travel

Sutherland- Our annual trip with the work crew to the lake was sooo nice and full of adventure. No power when we arrived, luckily Cindy had been there so the basement was all warm with the wood stove, candles dispersed throughout the whole house. We all snugged up, ate food, laughed and laughed. Thanks girls, you are so awesome. Wes got to come and be the only boy- he was fantastic and hasn't told a word about it!! :) ha-ha.

33 years- i got home from the lake to a table full of flowers and some sweet presents from Abs and Joe.

Leaving- Our good friends Tess and Dave left for New Zealand. We've been up at the house as much as we could before doing whatever we could to help or just be there. The last party in the barn and a fire true Kirner style, very big. We will miss all the kids running around the house, doing acrobatics on the chin up bar, using the big blue coccoon, and of course all the great food and company. We will miss you like crazy...... hopefully we'll see you in the airport in Aukland!!! sometime in the next 5 years.

Travel- After a semi-scary drive to seattle that involved a lot of rain and hydroplaning we made it to the hotel and the airport in the morning on our way to Orlando, Florida for a week of sun, swimming, family and fun.

Tub in the sink time!!















We won't talk about why he was holding his head up so well... (Kung Fu Panda)

Halloween 09

Abby and her friend Rae- downtown trick or treating. She is a hornet- last minute change from a cheerleader (her idea Not mine.)








Getting out the guts!!

Wes and his first pumpkin

Our home grown pumpkins all carved and lit up.