Kinkaid Island

The woods on Kinkaid- the smell in here is unbelievable. Like the earth, and life, and spring, and everything organic.

The big river

Fairy digs

The climber, she is spending a lot of time in trees these days

Mother's Day garden

Planting.

Shelling Peas

The sawdust crew

Ahh.... also one of my favorite sights! 

Evening rides down the road, one of my favorite things.

Washington Harbor

Wessy riding all the way down to the ducks.

Abby baby getting all grown up. *sigh*

I want to write on here, I want to post pictures but my body and mind are screaming- you are too tired, go to bed. I will relent but soon pictures and some words. Happy Mothers Day to all the Mamas, you make the world go round.

Thought for the day...

Just some pictures I liked that were in the archives.  Happy Monday to you all. Hope your day was full of peace.

This is Abby's new 4-H heifer.  Right now we are calling her Itsy-Bitsy.
She is a miracle baby. Her mama was very sick through most of the pregnancy, She is my nephew Jake's cow.  They weren't sure if the calf would be alive because she was so sick but she was.  The mama survived just long enough to get this little bitty girl out and then died soon after.  She is tiny, the size that twins usually are when there isn't enough room.  She is sweet, energetic, and a little spit fire. PERFECT for Abs.  

Its almost feeding time, the calf is trying to find milk in her armpit. :)

Some Glitter

Abby's last BBall game tonight- they lost their first game of the year, none of her shots went in, but she played like crazy. So proud of her.

This is crazy boy in motion with his cousin Liam's zuit suit on.  He  is so sweet and also soooo flipping loud....

Corn on the cob in February- thank you costco, this boy is crazy for it. Maybe he is just crazy for the small  very sharp corn shaped objects you get to "spear" in the ends

Abs turning 9 and finally getting her ears pierced.  Her Papa threatened 16 but in the end 9 seemed good, too.

A Nod to Creating

I read some things today in a book about numbers.

Adding together and getting who you are.  

Its wild to read to yourself, out loud to others, things about yourself that you thought only you knew.

I'm not sure what it confirms.... that the world is numerically based, that we're all meant to be just how we are.

Sure there are things that are easy for each and in turn things that are hard but it makes the whole.

To just decide to like it, to be easier on others, to be more understanding and to take things less personal.

That maybe its not because something is wrong but because its just the way we are and we get to decide to stay on, to stay the course, or change direction.  

I feel far away from myself and a strong need to create.

To create space.... and time..... something tangible..... to run.....to emote somewhere safe that others won't have to be effected by it or feel it in some personal way..... the lack of expectations.  Sounds like running away but maybe its running to.....    

Doing

There are days when every minute is accounted for before you even get out of bed.
Unavoidable sometimes, self inflicted, others.
You work so hard and give so much for those you love, things you feel are important.
But sometimes at the end of that day in doing all those tasks,
you didn't touch much,
you didn't have time to read when they asked,
to just "be" right beside them,
to crawl in bed with him.
Will they know I am loving by the tasks and the doing? or will they think back and wonder where I was?
Unable to remember.....

Showing his Auntie

Pitching Out

First Sushi- Yumm-o

Serious Snowman making

 I love sledding!!

The Hospital

I forget about hospitals, about being a patient and not a nurse with work to do.

So many memories of a different time of my life...

The corner market in Fremont, the Italian restaurant down the street, hearing Lucy my cat bound up the stairs after spending the day outside in the city while I was at work, when it was just her and I. Milk in glass containers, visits from Joe, the subaru and the scout.

Its life in your face here with little kids kissing their momma goodbye as she pushes her pole down the hall. Doctors doing their routine while patients are riddled with anxiety, worry, and nervous laughter. Bleary-eyed residents walk the halls knowing sleep isn't happening for days. An old man waiting for his partner who had major bypass surgery, all smiles as he was leaving - he had made it through. People sleeping in the waiting room praying out loud and to themselves, 10 yr.old boys answering the phone and playing phase 10 with mom. No food all day.

Sometimes I wonder about hospitals and how we heal, that we put so much faith in other people, in what we know at that time. In the future will it just get more and more human removed with machines and robots OR will we pray more, touch each other more, and learn to heal ourselves?

I am so glad Kali got through the surgery as well as she did and healing is the only thing left for her to do.

Welcome Year of the Dragon

May I be able to see when I need to,

act when I am able, and embrace the way.

Snow!!

Wessy today out checking the snow

catching snow flakes





doing some snow work and of course eating the snow!!

Oatie our mini donkey- a bit annoyed at the white stuff

Time

It seems to be just flying by... where o where do you go?

Driving Abs to and from school everyday...ughghgh

Basketball practice and games- super fun- am trying not to be too vocal -*hard*

Chores, playdates, and a bit of homework each night and Abs learning to do things everyday... the same thing..... that sometimes life isn't fun all the time

Abby learning lessons about how to treat people and handle emotion- * hard* on momma and her

Wessy having to go to the dentist and finding out he has major cavity issues and is learning to brush teeth 4 x a day, drink water, and not snack * hard *

Wessy being 2 learning that his momma can't do every single thing for him, that he can't have everything he wants, that his sister won't always want to play with him, not drinking as much milk and timeouts- * hard *

Joe and I trying our best to hold it all together.

There isn't a lot of light at our house these days, lots of screaming, crying and fighting, lots of games of chase, puzzles, reading books, castle making out of blocks, lego building, and trying to breathe deep and often.

Remembering that it won't always feel this stressful, to try and just breath right through it.

* HARD *