Time

It seems to be just flying by... where o where do you go?

Driving Abs to and from school everyday...ughghgh

Basketball practice and games- super fun- am trying not to be too vocal -*hard*

Chores, playdates, and a bit of homework each night and Abs learning to do things everyday... the same thing..... that sometimes life isn't fun all the time

Abby learning lessons about how to treat people and handle emotion- * hard* on momma and her

Wessy having to go to the dentist and finding out he has major cavity issues and is learning to brush teeth 4 x a day, drink water, and not snack * hard *

Wessy being 2 learning that his momma can't do every single thing for him, that he can't have everything he wants, that his sister won't always want to play with him, not drinking as much milk and timeouts- * hard *

Joe and I trying our best to hold it all together.

There isn't a lot of light at our house these days, lots of screaming, crying and fighting, lots of games of chase, puzzles, reading books, castle making out of blocks, lego building, and trying to breathe deep and often.

Remembering that it won't always feel this stressful, to try and just breath right through it.

* HARD *

Merry Christmas Eve 2011

Tree trimming- the tallest tree yet








The tree hauler. Possibly the last year for the "farm" harvest as they are getting too BIG!






A night time read.....

Opening their one Christmas eve present. Lots of Santa talk this year...Abby deciding/choosing and Wessy just discovering.

Today

One of the sweetest sounds that I get to hear.... Abby and Wes in her room, him belly laughing like he doesn't laugh with anyone else. The sun is shining, if feels perfectly fall today, the fire is going, the kids happy, and I feel all relaxed and lucky and blessed and loved.......

First Goal of the year!!

"She's not crying because she is sad, " Pushpa explains gently. "She's crying out of happiness. She says that now her voice will be carried on the wind and other people will hear her. That's what's making her cry. She never thought anyone would hear her."

- a bit from a book by China Galland

Trying to understand what my body means when it malfunctions.... what to do about it other than the band-aid.

September is such a marathon.......
ughghghh.....

First day of 3rd Grade!!

Abby's first day of 3rd grade today. So proud of her, she was 10 tons excited and an ounce scared. She is now the youngest grade in the multi-age classroom.

comments from the day

- mom the best thing about it is that i get my own locker. so cool.

- I felt really big today mom, like old. It was cool.

- The only thing i'm worried about is teacher Tom said we would do research on the computers. I don't really know how to do research yet.

Proud of her. My friend's daughter was having a hard time, she was really nervous and just not sure. She asked Abby going in if she would hold her hand this morning that she was nervous and abs replied yeah, sure and off they went to face the new class. Proud of all the kids I know who started school this last week, they are all so smart and capable.

Friday night

Tonight was one of those nights that just worked out without any planning. I LOVE IT!
I got to see Hannah, which these days is far in between visits because lives are just that busy. Tonight she called said she is going to be in town for dinner and it worked, the kids and i went and saw all these people that we care about, the kids playing all together and two babies- in-bellies (maybe 3) we don't know yet. it was super sweet and one of those beautiful sunny nights. All I felt was gratefullness that all those years ago we got put in the same P.E. class and that was all we needed- couldn't get us apart after that. Love you Han.

Wes's bday pictures

I love his face in this as we're all singing to him, like he's trying not to smile but sooo pleased.











The Gang






Taking a break at Grandma's house









In the tub with his beloved tractor

Just before bed, Wes and I. I can't believe he's 2 already.

Little Wes is 2

Today is the end of your day sweet boy. I can't believe you are 2 at the same time it seems as if we've always had you. It took such a long time for you to finally get here and i don't mean the birth, although that did take a long time, too. I mean the time between your sister and you. We went through alot in those six years, not knowing if you would ever be. I wondered if we should get pregnant you guys being so far apart and also with the cancer if it was a good idea to go through the hormone storm- the oncologists said no. But in the back of my head or in the very middle of me I knew you were there, just waiting around until the time was right. I didn't know if you would be a boy or girl, didn't much care, but i knew you were. I thank all the support I have around me for helping me be brave and not scared of getting pregnant and going forward with life. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
And now for what you are like at 2. Wessy you are loud just like your sissy was and still is. You love being outside, clothes or no, playing in the dirt with your cars, tractors, or trucks, talking to the dogs and throwing their sticks, going out to see "hi" or Grandma. You are the most in love with Tractors right now and your sister. Poor Abs can't get very far away from you and you are saying her name over and over until you see her. You of course want everything she has and her room- we are working on boundaries we all can live with. Sometimes you listen about touching her things and are gentle and other times you just want to throw everything around and crash things together to see if they break. You are so lovey, snuggy, and huggable. You are getting close to potty training but not quite there yet. You are still sensitive to dairy food but we are finding some things you can tolerate, hoping that you grow out of that. You pull all the tires off of almost every little tractor or truck you have. Often i still find you with your head on the floor, a tractor in your hand, your knees tucked up under you making that noise as you watch the tractor tires moving along the carpet. You still like to go on walks in the stroller and we just changed your bed to a real bed on the floor, away with the crib. Sleeping is still a challenge for sure. There are a thousand more things but this momma is so tired. You are growing up sweet boy and we love you to the moon and back. Thanks for being our littlest.

A Few

Bathing in the sink- yeah summer dirt!




















The newest addition to the yard!


















Abby's aunt Jenny sent this to her from Germany. How to Train your Dragon mania! She didn't take it off for 3 days.

Remembering

Trying my hardest to remember what it is like to be little and full of energy and ideas when its getting close to bedtime. What it is like to be so damn loud.What it is like to throw your head back and laugh until your belly hurts, like my two are doing.Instead I am feeling tired ....tired....tired.... and wishing for quiet and that they would magically put themselves to bed. I'm trying to remember how to be patient and nice for that matter.Maybe i'm jealous of them having no agenda, how free their little spirits are, that they don't have a to -do list that never ends, that they can run around naked from one end of the house to the other post bath time and laugh hysterically. Just trying to remember what its like and finding it hard.

Eclipsing and Full

Today a Lunar Eclipse and a Full Moon.

Watch Out!!!

A Few

Mt. Baker
















Abby as Hermione for StoryBook character at her school. So sweet and she's almost done reading the 2nd book! So fun.



















The sun, the yard, the grass, and the garden.













Cherrie trees in full

Oh the evening light. Lovely.

A Sunny Day- finally

An afternoon on the boat, Wes's first sail being able to walk around. It was a bit nerve racking but he did pretty good. He wanted to drive the boat of course!
















Taking a break, really does it get any easier than this. Rigorous chore regime starting soon so he doesn't get accustomed to this sort of life, right? ha. maybe we can wait a few more months. :)













Abby the sailor

















Momma and Wes, this pic is an attempt to show my new nose ring but you can barely see it. A trip to Seattle with the girls, Capitol Hill and the Laughing Buddha produced this, LOVE IT!!