Ahhhhh......

Its been a rough few weeks, spring break came just in time.......
To the ocean today for the rest of the week.
Cedar cabin, rain coats, hiking boots, and a wood stove.
Smoked salmon, good coffee and cocoa.
Wet suits, surf boards, boogie board, books, knitting, and games.
Some napping and time on the porch with the sweet sound of the ocean.

Film

So fun to find a roll of film and not know what is on it. Here are a few of them.














Chelsea, Ethan, Angelina and Abs with Sage last summer

















Abs out in the yard with her fav umbrella

Baby Update

I thought maybe there should be a baby post on the progress of the belly and the household here. I am 22 weeks this week and can't believe how fast this is happening. Was it that way with your 2nd's? Craziness. Joe said the other day when we were talking about April being close, that there was going to be a baby here before we knew it. :) My belly is getting bigger for sure, still wearing some of my clothes and haven't had to delve into the maternity stuff too much yet, due to my tendency to wear bigger pants in general but the days are getting shorter for those ones i can feel it. I am measuring right where i should be and decided not to do the glucose test this time unless I really start gaining fast or something. Interesting difference this time to the last is that I'm less definate in how i feel about things like the tests etc. When all i knew was what SHOULD happen when you are pregnant and going to have a baby it seemed easier somehow to make decisions. Now I feel like really anything can happen, there are higher probablilities of certain events for sure but really anything. So I'm just trying to listen to my body, the midwife and the doctor and do what feels right not what everyone just does because its the way its done. ( am I rambling? i am sick so maybe this doesn't even make sense, oh well)

The baby is starting to be really active. The baby's favorite time seems to be story time at night when Abs and I lay down in her bed to read. The baby kicks and moves all around. Abby can't feel it from the outside yet but she tries every time. We joke about how reading time the baby is definately NOT going to be sleeping so hopefully he/she will be eating and we can still read- or "Papa can take care of the baby or read to me." It is so fun sharing this pregnancy with Abby, the girl is so excited, waffles back and forth about wanting a brother or a sister and finally says, we just want the baby healthy but we'll take care of it no matter what. She talks to my belly all the time, sometimes she tells me she's nervous about how it all will be and is very definate that she does not want to be here when the baby is born, that she would like to be at her Grandma Jan's thank you very much.

We are seeing two practitioners a family doctor that I've known for awhile now working for the hospital and who I think has a very level head, isn't your normal MD, actually was a nurse first then went back to school to be an MD. He said he would come in if for some reason I had to be transferred to the hospital. He is very supportive of the homebirth but the downside is I'm double appointmenting it right now which is a bit of a drag.

The midwife we are seeing is different than the one we used before, she is geographically closer and also over the last couple years have gotten to know her through work and being at Anna's birth. It wasn't an easy decision as she has a very different style compared to the other midwife but now that we are into it a ways I am so totally convinced and happy that went with her. She is wild and totally passionate about birth and about women's health. She puts a big emphasis on diet when you are pregnant so I'm back to taking a bunch of stuff every day- liquid fish oil (blehh) , supplements, etc. I found myself being resistant in the beginning to all the stuff as it reminded me of when i had cancer and was taking tons of pills and vitamins but it feels easier now. The first time I met with her and gave a very emotional account of Abby's labor and my history of the last 5 years- after all that stuff all I felt from her was pure good will maybe? Like she was absolutely "for" me in whatever capacity that was. She is a hugger and is so totally genuine.... she is a treasure. I've heard people say they want to have another baby just so they can see her more, and I get it now.

I feel this baby kicking way lower than i remember feeling abby. I remember my ribs being sore more the top of my belly- that may come later too, but this baby likes to stomp on my bladder instead, funny and sometimes inconvenient. "didn't you just go pee?"

Some days I still feel totally exhausted, winded when i reach the 3rd floor at work, wishing i could get in bed at 7pm and some days I feel fantastic, lots of energy.
I'm totally spoiled with my mom coming down for little spurts of help keeping the house clean as its a way bigger deal to me right now. Abs, Joe, and Kali are helping tons too. I feel so lucky... like this baby is so loved already and so lucky to be here in this situation and healthy.

My hand rests on my belly... the baby moving around like crazy all warm and safe in there.

Slacker

Man.... this blogging thing, sometimes it is so hard to do. I'm sick finally after its gone through everyone in the house. I'm sipping on lemon ginger tea reaking of eukalyptus oil and vicks vapor rub. My face feels as though it would like to explode and the netti pot is full of salt water waiting for the next irrigation.. ughgh. good times. BUT.... outside the sun is shining on the water, the cat is walking on the railing to her food, the dogs on a ride to the barn where Joe and Abs are stocking hay for the horses. And today I got to sit at the bluffs, listen to the waves while I caught up on some charting.... pretty nice.

Hmmm......

Thanks girl for the magazine.

Thanks Asha- this quote is so good and true. Stay warm tomorrow on the polar plunge!

"The most significant thing for a parent to contribute to anyone, is their own
Connection and their own stability.
An effective parent is a happy parent.
An effective parent is a parent who laughs easily and often, and who doesn’t take things so seriously."

The Last Few Weeks

The boys and Jenny came up for part of the week to hang out. Jenny, you are amazing doing this all by yourself while Anth is away for so long. You are such a good mom!!

A surprise foot of snow this last week and the biggest snowman ever!

The Artists!

A great day at Kinkaid Island. Campfire, hot dogs and some exploring.

Pic to show the "double" hat, Abs creation when i told her she actually needed a warm hat to go not just the trucker one. :) Hilarious.

The explorers.

Tuesday

To cherish who we have... to not take anything for granted.


The House Where Nobody Lives by Tom Waits

Once it held laughter
Once it held dreams
Did they throw it away
Did they know what it means
Did someone's heart break
Or did someone do someone wrong?
So if you find someone
Someone to have, someone to hold
Don't trade it for silver
Don't trade it for gold
I have all of life's treasures
And they are fine and they are good
They remind me that houses
Are just made of wood
What makes a house grand
Ain't the roof or the doors
If there's love in a house
It's a palace for sure
Without love...It ain't nothin but a house
A house where nobody lives
Without love it ain't nothin
But a house, a house where
Nobody lives.

Our First Look

Our first photos of our sweet little baby. The ultrasound went great.

Joe and I were pretty nervous and glad when this was over and

everything was fine. We never had a 20wk US with Abby so never

saw such clear images of all the baby's parts! It was awesome to say

the least. My eyes were "leaky" for most of the scan. I just felt so

lucky and seriously amazed to be looking at that screen. The baby

was moving around quite a bit, Abby even got to see the baby open and

close it's hand. So Cool! We didn't find out if we are having a boy or girl,

much harder to do when you actually have a choice- I prefer to not have to decide

for sure. When the US tech was done I asked her so now you know if we

are having a boy or girl? Not fair, why don't you just tell me!! but she

wouldn't, said to call her in a couple days if I really changed my mind. :)

Then we got to hang with the Yates' in Seattle doing the last Flower and Garden show, the aquarium, a super yummy pizza place called Piecora's, and a hotel pool. So nice.

So it turns out that this pregnancy so far I feel a little bit crazy. You all know, I'm pretty level emotionally, laid back, takes a bit to get me riled up right? Well...... the two days before today I was just horribly grumpy. I didn't want to smile, didn't want anyone to try to make me laugh or cheer me up i just wanted to be grumpy. I said things that i knew were snappy and borderline bi*chy and i knew it but it still didn't matter. Today I feel like I've been given some lovely stimulant in my sleep making me talk a lot, laugh more, have lots of energy and basically feel like I was on top of the world. What the ....
I swear this did not happen to me last time or maybe its just been so long that I forget. I distinctly remember thinking with my pregnancy with Abby- " what are all those people talking about that say women get all crazy, emotional, and mean." Well, maybe i get it now and i don't really like it. I mean the good day was great but the others i could have done without. Sorry Joe and Abs- only 22 more weeks to go!

Friday Nite

We had creme fresh and smoked salmon.
We had a yummy dinner cooked for us and just got to "be."
I sighed a lot- a sign that you are comfortable, that you are with
people that you love and love you and are seriously in the present.
This is how it is meant to be.
Thanks Han and Cal for coming to Sequim.

Happy 6th Birthday Sweetie.

Joe surprised Abs by taking the day off and whisking her off to Pt. Defiance Zoo and Aquarium - one of her fav places to go all time. They even got to start out at the Buzz with a hot cocoa!
Momma stayed home to get things done and ready for birthday cupcakes with the fam.













Abs showing off her new duds from her Aunt Jenny and also that she grew 4 inches in a year- whoa.

Goes without saying this was a highlight!

She couldn't wait to tell me about the squirrel that was her best friend. "Mom, we even got to feed it chips. Chips Mom, really." huh.

Birthday night with the fam, chocolate cupcakes with blue whip cream, yummm. Oh and the pink fizz, flub- what was that stuff Tess? Anway, the kids scarfed it and Jake actually was trying to get the directions to make it.

A couple days later a trip to Silverdale with some buddies to Chuck E. Cheese. I know some of you are shaking your head in disbelief that we would actually bring our child there. The kids had a blast, the parents survived and she was informed this is a one time deal, no more bday's at the Cheese! She loved it though.

Me and Abs towards the end of the party week. Both looking a bit tired?

Happy birthday my girl. You are wonderful, opinionated, strong and growing up so fast. We love you with everything we got!

Another Makes 4

I just realized that there hasn't been an official post or any for that matter on what will be happening in July.
If everything continues as it is going now, universe willing there will be labor to go through and a sweet baby face to see around July 20th give or take a few weeks of course. We are esctatic and apprehensive all at the same time. Some days I just keep telling myself to take deep breaths and talk myself down from all that is scary. Other days I feel absolutely calm and at peace.
It is a day at a time here, trying to stay present, listening to others as well as myself, leaning on others when it all feels scary and trying to hold them up a little when I feel strong. I am so fortunate to have all the love around me that I do.

Night time

Tonight as Abby was going to bed.

Abs" Momma, before the baby comes you should sort of train me or something so I don't need you to lay down with me to go to sleep. Because when the baby comes and when i get my high bed you aren't going to be climbing up there right? Plus you are going to need to rest and some quiet time."

Me: (trying not to laugh too much) Yeah, you are so right sweetie.

I get up a few minutes later and she asks is her little voice if i will check on her, of course I will I say. She then proceeds to curl up with her 4 ft. long rattle snake her Papa bought her at the zoo and falls asleep on her own.

A few times in the last few days she'll start to ask me to help her with something, usually involving getting dressed and then she quickly says, before i have a chance to mutter a word, almost to herself, " Oh yeah, I'm 6, I can do that." and she goes off and does it for herself.
Wow.

Blessed

May you always have work for your hands to do.

May your pockets hold always a coin or two.

May the hand of a friend always be near you.

-Irish Blessing